April 2024.
Updated October 2024.
The following info is aimed at pubescent young people and hopefully will be seen as “Life Education”, it isn’t all about sex! It is based on factual matter and it should help all pubescent young ones to know what is happening to their mind and bodies as they grow out of childhood and become adults.
Part one – For ages 10 to 13 (Generally).
Human survival depends on procreation, where we produce offspring (children). If we don’t procreate (make babies), we would eventually become extinct. However, we are unable to procreate until our bodies have developed and this is usually considered as becoming an adult but there is a difference between biological adult and legal adult. Some cultures consider females to be biological adults when they become age 12 or even younger. Western cultures tend to have age 16 as a minimum, this seems to be more biologically appropriate as it encompasses the development of the mind.
To become an adult (biologically and Legally) we have to undergo the time in our lives known as puberty. This is the time when we transition from being a child to becoming an adult, ultimately being capable of contributing to the survival of humans. Puberty is a biological thing that is a normal and natural development as we leave our childhood behind.
We are all individuals and in some ways unique but there are lots of things we have in common. Puberty can start as early as 8 years old but is more often about age 10 or 11 and can last until we are about 16 years old. It’s a confusing time where our bodies change in many ways and we have no control over this but it’s all perfectly natural and normal. Our bodies produce hormones that are responsible for these changes. During this period of puberty, we need plenty of sleep to help us cope with all these changes to our bodies. Sleeping for 12 hours is not uncommon but wanting more than 12 hours might indicate a problem.
Boys tend to traverse puberty without much distress but it can be a tough time for girls and some boys. We need to make allowances for things like mood changes. The onset of puberty can make some boys and girls frightened by these perfectly natural changes to their bodies and they think there is something wrong with them. Hopefully this article will be of benefit for those who are finding these changes to be a bit scary.
At the onset of puberty, we all start growing hair in our pubic region and other places, boys start to grow facial hair and their testicles develop in functionality and often in size. They also find that their voice changes and becomes deeper. Some boys might notice that their penis is different to other boys. Some boys are circumcised (cut) soon after birth and this means their foreskin is removed. This is often done for religious reasons but it doesn’t stop the penis from functioning as normal. A loss of sensitivity is normal but it isn’t usually a problem. It does help to keep the penis clean and avoids problems with tight foreskin in later life. Circumcision of babies is seen by many as an unnecessary mutilation.
Uncut males need to make sure they clean their penis at least once per day to remove the “cheese” (Smegma) by pulling back the foreskin and washing with mild soap. This stops the penis from becoming smelly and developing an infection.
Girls start to menstruate and this can be frightening for some girls.
Part two – For ages 13 to 15 (Generally).
Girls probably undergo the most changes internally and this can cause much discomfort. Their ovaries and uterus develop which makes them capable of ovulation and menstruation, which ultimately allows them to grow a baby. Externally they develop enlarged breasts and generally their figure becomes more “rounded”. They start to menstruate on a monthly cycle. This is where a female produces an egg / ovum ready to be fertilised by male seed.
If fertilisation doesn’t happen, the uterus discharges the no longer needed cells etc. This causes a loss of blood from the vagina on a monthly basis and can be quite a shock for girls but it is perfectly natural and normal as is the associated “Period Pains”. Pubescent girls need to talk to their mother or other girls that have passed puberty to find out how to use Tampons or Sanitary towels, the use of which will be for many years. The monthly period can affect girls / women in different ways but a hot water bottle and pain killers often gives relief. Some girls / women do have a very difficult time during their “period”.
In addition to all these changes to our bodies during puberty, we also find that our interest in the opposite sex changes but we don’t always realise this and that is very normal and natural. We can still be mates / pals of the opposite sex but we might develop “feelings” and “desires” that we didn’t used to have. Traversing puberty to become an adult is preparing us for the time when can contribute to human survival.
Puberty can be and is often a confusing time with regards to sexuality. Sometimes we think that admiration of a member of the same sex makes us “gay” and that is normal. It takes a while to unravel these feelings to discover that you are responding to the changes in your body and all sorts of things are going through your mind. This new you is no longer a child but not yet an adult. Your brain has to cope with all these physical changes and all the new “feelings” that we never had as a child. In addition to this we have our “education” to deal with and all the other stuff that happens. Not the best of times 🙁
If you are finding it difficult to cope with all these changes, find someone to talk to. Everyone of a similar age to you will be going through these changes and it is natural and normal but we don’t all have these changes at the same time. Talking to an adult might be a good way to help you cope with these changes but some parents may find it embarrassing. Indeed you may find it difficult to talk to your parents about the things you are struggling with.
You are not alone.
Maybe you find it difficult to talk to others the same age but they will be going through these changes the same as you. We are all different and quite often develop at different stages. It isn’t a competition, its just they way things are.
You might have to educate yourself by reading up on Puberty and the changes, this article should help.
One thing for sure is that you will complete puberty and will become a biological adult and a later stage you will become a legal adult.
Part three – For ages 13 and above (Generally).
Most boys will have completed the major changes to their bodies by age 13 or 14 and will be considered to be young men but will usually continue to grow (in height) until about age 19 or 20 ish. There is still a lot of development in mind and body occurring.
Most girls will have completed the major changes to their bodies by age 14 and will be considered to be young women but they may still be developing their breasts and may still be growing in height and developing the “female shape” (more rounded).
By the age of 16, puberty has usually run its course and most of the physical changes to our bodies have been completed but we may still be struggling with the mental changes e.g. All the new feelings and our “sexuality”.
Biologically and factually, if you are born with a penis; you are a male. If you are born with a vagina; you are a female. During puberty and all the physical changes, we also have changes in the way we think because we are trying to make sense of it all.
Some females find they are not attracted to males but are attracted to other females and that is perfectly understandable. Some males find they are attracted to other males but not females, that is perhaps not as understandable but it is natural.
Biologically, human survival depends on mating couples – of the opposite sex. (Fact not opinion)
Biologically, males are attracted to females and females are attracted males and this allows the basic urge of human survival to be carried out in the form of procreation.
Males and females attracted to the opposite sex are considered “straight” (normal).
Males and females attracted to the same sex are considered to be “gay” (not normal but can be acceptable).
Males and females attracted to the same and opposite sex are “bisexual” (not normal but can be acceptable).
In nature, males and females attracted to the opposite sex is normal and natural because procreation can only happen when a female receives male seed. It is the way we survive but we are all individuals. Being attracted to the same sex is maybe not normal but can be natural. However, you would not be contributing to human survival.
Currently some “educational” establishments are promoting the idea that the difference between males and females is nothing to do with the “genitals” we are born with and that “Transgender” is normal. They also promote the idea that people can “identify themselves” as a member of the opposite sex. Unfortunately, this doesn’t sit well with Biology or Science. These people are using psychology to confuse your thinking and make you lose sight of reality. They compound this by the use of “pronouns” which is nothing more than ridiculous.
In reality (biologically and normally). Males are seed spreaders, females are male seed harvesters and baby growers. Males do not have ovaries or a womb and cannot grow babies (fact not opinion).
This means that people who are born as a male or female but think they should be the opposite of what they are born as are, in nature, not “normal”. This does not mean we should ostracise or ridicule them. We are all individuals, most of us tend to live our lives that are considered normal e.g. like most people but some decide to live their lives and not conform to the normal. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that but trying to change “laws etc” to make “not normal” into normal is a no no.
Normal means what you find in most people. Most people are attracted to the opposite sex to allow procreation to happen. We are all individuals and in some ways we are different. Often it is natural to be attracted to the same sex but it isn’t normal. If it was normal we would all be gay and this would affect procreation and could lead to our extinction.
Human survival depends on procreation (making babies), to this end the natural and normal job of the male is to spread his seed, the job of the female is to harvest the male seed and produce a new human (fact not opiion).
Only females can naturally provide a place where new life is created, this is (usually) in the fallopian tube (fact)
Only a female has the natural equipment to grow a new human, this the uterus (womb) (fact).
Only a female can naturally feed a new human by allowing the new human to suckle on her nipples to obtain “milk”, which is wholesome and complete in nutrients (fact).
In nature. When you have completed the puberty stage, you are now a biological adult and can contribute to the human survival thing. If we still lived in the “caveman” world, you would be encouraged to help with human survival.
But in the modern world, you don’t really want to make babies until you are in a position to support them financially and provide for their needs. We don’t need to make human survival the main reason to be living.
We also have a life that doesn’t involve contributing to the survival of humans!
So the battle begins, you have gone through the puberty stage (maybe as early as age 15) and your body is now ready and raring to contribute to the human survival. Your body has all these hormones causing havoc 🙂 Your interest in the opposite sex will often be of a lustful nature. You are no longer a child, in nature, but you are not yet legally an adult. You still have a lot to learn to make sure you can function as an adult. Your mind may not be ready to become an Adult. There is still so much to learn but the basic urge to procreate is only interested in you being biologically capable because it is the way we survive!
During and after puberty males will find that their penis becomes erect – for no apparent reason and post pubescent females may find their vagina becomes moist for no apparent reason. This is the powerful basic urge doing its job of preparing for procreation (survival) and you need to learn how to control this.
This basic and powerful urge pre-dates the time when humans became aware of conscious thinking and we were basically Amoral* like animals.
This basic and very natural urge to procreate is activated in many ways. It is thought that animals are not capable of conscious thought and are considered to be *Amoral. This means that if they are hungry, they find something to eat. A lot of animals eat meat so this means they have kill another animal to eat but they don’t kill for sport, they only kill to feed themselves and maybe their offspring, it is natural and normal.
In the same way if a male or female animal has the urge to “procreate”, they find a willing mating partner. The male spreads his seed and that’s it, urge satisfied, job done 🙂
Humans are capable of conscious thought and are considered to be moral. This means that if we are hungry, we find something to eat and this may mean killing an animal or just eating grains etc but eat, we will.
When it comes to the very natural basic urge to “procreate”, things are different! We have “social dogma” (religion) and “social rules” to contend with. This means that when we get the urge, we don’t always have a situation where we can seek out random willing members of the opposite sex to satisfy the very natural and basic urge in the same way that animals do and this is a sad fact of life 🙁 It is very likely that we would all be happier if we could act on the basic urge when desired 🙂
Part 4 (age 16+)
Unfortunately when we get to the stage of completing our puberty and becoming a biological adult, the procreation thing appears to have become taboo. Its something we don’t talk about. Its something that is seen as personal and private but procreation / Copulation / Sex is the very thing that we need to survive and not become extinct. Ideally we should talk about it and celebrate it. It doesn’t need to be a public display but it perfecly natural.
We do have situations where males and females maybe go out drinking / dancing etc and then find a willing partner to satisfy the basic urge. This is often called a “one night stand”. When this type of activity is engaged in, it is vital that “protection” (contraception) is used to reduce the risk of infection and unwanted pregnancies.
Fortunately human males and females can temper this urge so that they don’t have the urge to procreate every waking moment 🙂 This urge is normally activated when a person of the opposite sex is found to be attractive and when this attraction is shared, the beginnings of carrying out the natural act of procreation can come in to play.
There are many things that attract males to females and females to males, even something as simple as the colour of the hair or eyes and even the way people speak. We are all different in what we find attractive in others. Good looks, body physique and even age don’t appear to be very important when seeking a “mating partner” or maybe a “mate for life”. The “attractive” thing is a mystery, you either “click” or you don’t!
It is thought that females are the HUNTERS in that they seek out males that they find attractive and that is not always depending on good looks. When a female gets the urge to procreate, she might have several questions in mind e.g. would this male help me have babies with brown eyes or would this male be a good companion for life and many other things. Sometimes they just want some natural pleasure, the same as males!
Males apparently don’t appear to think like this. It thought that its a case of male sees female, male wants to spread seed! For most males this is not true and they share similar attractive desires to females. The attractive thing is very complex, we are all different and don’t always agree on what is attractive and what is not. That is absolutely fine, there is no right or wrong, its a personal thing; we are all individuals. In the modern world both males and females seek each other mainly for the pleasure aspect but the basic urge is still there in the background.
When a male & female are both attracted to each other, the basic urge to procreate is very powerful and when 2 adults engage in consensual procreation activity (sex), it is usually a very enjoyable experience; provided that the female is prepared.
Procreation ultimately involves PIV (Penis in Vagina) a.k.a Copulation and generally when a female is “ready” her Vagina is self-lubricating and ready to receive a penis, with the (natural) aim of receiving male sperm to make a baby. The male penis is not a standard size but an average penis is about 5 or 6 inches long and about 1.5 inches thick. Most females can accommodate larger penises, an 8 inch long penis 2 inches thick is within the comfort zone but a penis longer than 8 inches might be uncomfortable for most females.
Human survival depends on making babies and this is basically a miracle or at best a game of chance. Lots of things need to be in place for this miracle to happen.
Males, depending on age, can produce several million male seeds (sperms) several times per day up to old age. Females only produce 1 (one) seed (egg / ovum) on a monthly basis. If the female receives male seeds when she is not ovulating, the male seed is just absorbed or discharged from the vagina but the pleasure of penis in vagina is still achieved. If the female is ovulating and has an “egg” (seed) available and she then receives a few million male seeds, only one of the male seeds will couple with the female egg and will result in the miracle of life.
It is worth noting that the male seed (sperm) can survive in the Uterus for several days.
Females tend to stop producing the monthly ovum when they reach the age of about 50 and are no longer capable of making babies. This is known as the menopause but many women after menopause still desire the natural pleasure.
In nature, males will (generally) seek females of “child bearing years”, this explains why older males often seek younger females – it is the basic urge thing, Human Survival.
The female and male ideally prepare for procreation by way of “foreplay” and this can start by sending messages to each other and creating a stronger desire to Copulate (PIV).
When the male and female are in close proximity to each other, they engage in physical foreplay to prepare the female and this often includes mouth kissing and touching of each others genitals along with stroking caressing. Both male and females have “Erogenous zones” which give 100’s of pleasure spots. To get the maximum pleasure, these pleasure spots are stimulated and PIV bit is the ultimate of mutual natural pleasure.
The PIV bit should always be mutually pleasurable. The male should NEVER EVER force himself on an unwilling female. NO should always mean NO.
PIV is normally a mutually very pleasurable expreience but sometimes alternatives can be used instead of or in addition to. e.g. Fellatio and Cunnilingus, these are known as Oral sex. Many men and women enjoy Oral Sex and it is often used as foreplay but oral sex can be a replacement for PIV in situations where PIV is not desired.
The ultimate pleasure males and females get from going through the motions of procreation (Sex) is called an orgasm. An orgasm is a state of ultimate pleasure and this pleasure can be obtained in many ways. Women can only usually achieve an orgasm if they feel safe and trust that their chosen partner will not harm them and in many cases they know that they will not be disturbed.
If the 2 consenting adults mutually stimulate each others erogenous zones, the natural pleasure can be awesome.
If the male inserts his penis into the female vagina and then “discharges his seed” after only a few minutes the female will mostly be unsatisfied. Males need to learn how to prolong the PIV bit so that the female is also satisfied with regards to pleasure.
With regards to Human survival. Females can be seen to be the most important humans because they are equipped to provide a natural place for the creation of new life. They are also equipped to grow babies. They are also equipped with the means to provide nutrients (food) for newly born humans.
Males are just seed spreaders and most of the seed they produce is wasted but without males to spread their seed, humans would become extinct.
The basic urge to procreate is very powerful and is usually very pleasurable, otherwise we probably would not engage in this activity. Being modern humans capable of conscious thought, most of the time we don’t want to make babies; we want the pleasure of going through the motions 🙂 We currently don’t really need to make more babies because we have apparently gone from a “Mating Pair” to now we have a human count of over 8+ Billion. So there is no rush to produce more! 8 BILLION humans all need feeding, shelter, clothing and the need to dispose of waste – bio and other.
We need to change this urge to survive and and make it just an urge for natural pleasure.
Females should always be treated with the utmost of respect and should never be treated as “2nd class citizens”. They should have the same or higher status and equivalent privileges as males. The survival of humans is reliant on “mating pairs” but ultimately only the female can grow babies. This makes them very special and they should never be abused or mistreated.
Females don’t exist for the pleasure of males and males don’t exist for the pleasure of females. Both exist to procreate to stop humans becoming extinct and have mutual pleasure on a consensual basis. The urge to procreate is a very powerful basic urge that is as natural as breathing. It isn’t smutty or dirty, it is natural and wholesome but should always be mutually consensual. It doesn’t need to be a public display!
It would appear that going through the motions of procreation 2 or 3 times per week to obtain the natural pleasure is very beneficial to our physical and mental health. It helps us to relax, it makes us happier, our bodies are flooded with health promoting endorphins and some say it keeps us looking younger. If we get it right, it is the ultimate in mutual pleasure that is second to none.
Biologically, PIV is the method to spread seed but we don’t always want to “make babies”. In this case we would use contraceptives to stop the male seeds from joining the female seed and it also reduces the chances of spreading STIs.
All males and females approaching and going beyond “the age of consent” should be aware of the natural basic urge to procreate and how to control this powerful urge. The natural urge is for PIV (copulation) to occur and this is part of our survival mechanism. The most natural thing with PIV is “Bare back” or “skin on skin” but we don’t always want to make babies, we just want the pleasure. Contraceptives are your friend.
Becoming knowledgeable about contraception is a must along with becoming familiar with STIs (sexually transmitted infections). Learning about erogenous zones and pleasing each other should be paramount. Mutual pleasure should always be the aim. You won’t learn anything by visiting PORN sites but looking up Tantric sex should increase your knowledge about things like sexual positions and how to prolong the act of PIV.
Procreation / Sex / Copulation should always be mutually consensual and should always be mutually pleasurable. Making babies is not always the aim!
The “age of consent” in the UK is currently 16 years of age. This means that it is lawful for males and females aged 16 and over to engage in sexual activity but it isn’t a requirement! Age 16 is not a time in the modern world where you should be thinking about making babies. You should be concentrating on your education and preparing for a career so that when the time comes, you will be able to support a family.
Most people aged 15 to 18 are still “growing up” and may still be in the “development” stage. Typically, you don’t stop increasing in height until age 19 ish. Males are still developing their “muscles”, females are still developing in other ways. No longer a child but not yet an adult, changes still occurring in your body. On passing the “age of consent” (and often before) it is natural that “boys & girls” become attracted to the opposite sex. The “age of consent” allows the “nearly adults” to experiment and learn about “human biology” and may include PIV but making babies at this stage is not the aim.
If you are going to experiment with PIV, use contraceptives.
The aim at this stage is to discover your own body and the things you find pleasurable and hopefully discover what members of the opposite sex find pleasurable. Concentrate on discovering the erogenous zones and mutual pleasure. Its a good age to be but don’t ignore your school work and general education. It is certainly not an age where you want to be making babies. You should be using this time to learn how to live as an adult.
The “coming of age” is currently 18 years old (in the UK) and that gives us the right to vote and many other things, People aged 18 and above are considered to be legally Adults and now its up to you to make your way in the world.
Part five – (Generally age 18+)
When you reach the age of 18, your parents are no longer legally required to provide you with food or clothing or shelter or your education, it now comes down to you to support yourself as an adult.
This is a life changing experience.
It is now your responsibility to provide yourself with food, shelter, clothing and anything else you need to survive. You will probably need an income to pay for your survival, this usually means finding employment that enables you to earn enough money to provide for your needs. Prior to becoming 18, your parents did all this for you, don’t forget to thank them 🙂
When you become a legal adult, most parents will usually let you be an adult and let you fly the nest but will always be there to help and support you until they stop breathing!
Becoming an adult can be a shock to the system. If you continue to live in the family home, it is expected that you will find employment and contribute to the “running costs” in a fair and equitable way. This will usually be a lower cost than having to find accommodation elsewhere, along with the associated costs. You may be starting out in your career of choice and / or be still in full time education.
You might at this stage be thinking that you should be looking for a “mate for life”. You will have the natural basic urge to procreate because it is how we survive but this shouldn’t be on your list of priorities. Going through the motions of procreation just for the pleasure is all you need to be thinking about at this stage along with contraception, to stop unwanted pregnancies and spread of infections.
Adults being attracted to the opposite sex is normal and there is no real reason why we shouldn’t engage with others of the opposite sex. In an ideal world we would allow this “attraction” to obtain mutual pleasure but we would use contraception to avoid the spreading of STIs and unwanted pregnancies.
As a new adult, your priorities are “self survival”, making sure you have food, shelter and clothing etc and making sure you have enough income to provide for your needs. Hopefully your parents have helped you prepare for this.
You absolutely need to know how to prepare and cook a meal for yourself. You need to know how to manage your finances. You need somewhere to live and know how you are going to pay the rent and rates and cope with the utility bills (Gas, Electric, Water). If you are gainfully employed, you should know how to live within your means. If you are on benefits, it will be harder.
When you have all these things sorted, maybe it is time to seek a mate for life (if that is what you want) but there is no rush! Chances are, your intended mate will also have an income from employment and will allow you both to find accommodation that is suitable.
You can now maybe start to think about “having a family” (if thats what you both want) by allowing the basic urge to procreate and help you take part in the survival of humans. You will become aware, at some stage, that being a parent is a job for life. It doesn’t matter what age you are, you will always be the child of your parents and you will always be the parents of your children.
Becoming an adult is life changing but becoming a parent makes you grow up (sometimes very fast)!
You now have a miracle that you have helped make and will be responsible for until you stop breathing. If you are good parent, there is nothing you would not do to make sure your child is safe and has everything they need to keep them happy. The new human you have helped create will look to you for guidance and advice. The love you feel for this child is unparalleled. You will happily go without to make sure your child has what they need.
Make sure you are ready for this before you start making babies, there is no going back.
You may find a member of the opposite sex could be a “mate for life” or “lifetime companion” at an early stage and there is nothing wrong with that but if you are looking for a “mate for life” it is often a good idea to “have a shop round” before making a commitment. You might find that having a “mate for life” is not your thing and would prefer a more casual approach and there is nothing wrong with that.
Should you find a partner that you want to be your mate for life, make sure it is what you really want. Ignoring the religious aspect, when you marry you make vows to each other and these include for richer or poorer and in sickness and in health. In principle you have made a LEGAL commitment and you are then LAWFULLY Husband & Wife. When you are young, these vows might not mean much but they are the basis of a couple having a “Solus” agreement where they only have eyes for each other and that the natural urge is limited to your chosen partner only. People change, life affects all of us in different ways. Relationships can become strained for many reasons.
Marriage is a biggy and is ultimately a method of social control, which helps stop the spreading of STIs and is a situation that helps stop women having children with an unknown father. It should also mean that the basic urges of both are fully met, without involving others outside of the marriage but this not always the case. Marriages need constant effort. Living together or being married is the way you will find out what your partner is really like and sometimes the relationship becomes sour. Never take each other for granted, its teamwork all the way.
A little humour:-
Wife says to husband “do you fancy changing roles this evening?” Hubby says “that sounds interesting!” So wife says “OK, I’ll lay on settee farting and watching TV while you do the ironing”
Another.
Guy says to his wife “since getting married, its like we have a magic fairy, I go to bed leaving crisp packets and empty bottles all over and when I get up next day everything is spic and span”. Wife says “I think I need to go away for a few days”.
For many people marriage is acceptable and works quite well but it doesn’t sit well with nature because the natural job of the male is to spread seed and the females job is to harvest male seed to make babies, to stop humans becoming extinct. In nature (without the marriage aspect) we probably lean towards being Polygamous to aid the basic urge. In some cultures the male is allowed to have several wives but there doesn’t seem to be a situation where women are allowed to have several husbands but it apparently exists see polyandry.
Some people choose to have a relationship that doesn’t involve marriage but still choose to make babies. There is nothing wrong with that. In most cases it means that the relationship is always being “worked on”. Without the marriage vows, the relationship could more easily drift apart. When children have been created, this can be a difficult situation for all.
Some modern marriages are considered “Open Marriages“. These are where a couple take the vows to support each other through sickness and in health etc but both partners have agreed to have additional “sexual” partners. This can work if it allows the “something extra” that isn’t available within the marriage but both partners NEED to be in full agreement. It can only work where the relationship is very strong and total honesty is paramount. Open marriages are not usually successful or long lasting because it’s a bit like eating your cake and trying to save it!
Should you engage in a marriage of any kind, it is a Legal commitment and not something that you should take lightly.
A successful long lasting relationship (inc marriage) should not be all about having the basic urges satisfied. Successful relationships can include a situation where both decide to be celibate (no sex). This would probably be described as having a lifetime companion and can work for some but it doesn’t contribute to human survival.
In any long or short lasting relationship, there will times where you are perhaps a little thoughtless and you do something that doesn’t sit well with your partner. Talk to each other, don’t let the little things build up and become a real problem. It’s good to talk!
If you find it difficult to talk, try writing a letter to your partner explaining what is making you unhappy but don’t allocate blame, keep it friendly and accept “it takes two to Tango”. There is always 2 sides so you just need to find common ground where you are both happy. Writing letters to each other allows you to put your point of view in writing without getting upset or saying something that you didn’t really mean that might cause bigger problems. The fact that you are in a relationship means that you both care a lot for each other and hopefully you don’t want to cause any bad feelings.
Sometimes a good “Pillow Fight” can remove the tensions and get you talking – recommend you don’t use feather pillows 🙂
For some couples in a long lasting relationship that has maybe produced several offspring, one of the couple might succumb to medical problems which make PIV no longer an option. This can become a relationship problem that is not easy to find a solution but there are solutions.
We all have choices however, we are generally encouraged to comply with the “norm” but we are all individuals. As we traverse the University of life, we often have to chose a path to follow and quite often we can change the path. Unfortunately, some paths cannot be changed. If you ever doubt which path to take, talk to someone who can help you decide but it is your choice, not your advisor
You will, like most people, make many mistakes. Don’t dwell on them, learn from them and become more knowledgeable. Learning from your mistakes makes you “grow” and generally makes you a better person.
Becoming an adult is a bit of a shock to the system, that lasts until you die. Hopefully everyday is a “School Day”. You have gone through the puberty thing and are now hopefully in a position of knowing how the biology bit works and the potential of having mutual natural pleasure.
Human survival might be all about procreation but there is a lot more to life.
When you become an adult, The basic urge to procreate is still very powerful but in the modern world, you need to learn how to survive as an individual and as a couple (if that’s what you want) before trying to make babies.
Becoming an adult is not always what you might think. It can be and is often very hard. Leaving the “nest” and learning how to “fly on your own” is probably a big shock to the system. It is probably the first real step to becoming an adult.
Finding your own space to live can be difficult but being gainfully employed in a job that allows you to earn enough money can ease this problem. You could also ease this problem by sharing a living space but this not always ideal.
“Life is hard and then you die” is very true for a lot of people but your life choices could make life easy before you die. Life should be all about “balance”. Some people work to live and some live to work. You need to work to earn money to pay the rent / mortgage and utility bills etc but you also need to get the pleasure aspects and have some fun. Above all, you need to be happy and your happiness should never be at the expense of the happiness of others. That can be a conundrum.
We are all individuals but we share many things with others, we need to get on with our neighbours and look out for each other. We need to respect the differences in other people and accept they may have different opinions. We can still be friends that live in relative peace and harmony even if we have differences of opinion.
Always remember that yesterday has gone and can’t be changed. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring and tomorrow is never guaranteed.
Today is the best of times, make the most of it. Hopefully the choices you make today will help influence what will happen tomorrow but always try to make the best of today. Some might say “Carpe Diem” badly translated into “Sieze the day”. A more accurate (Latin) translation would be “Pluck from the day that which is best”.
“Life is not a rehearsal, you only get one chance”. That is absolutely true and is often quoted as “you only live once”. This is better said by “You only die once but you live everyday”. It is a better way of looking at things. Every day that you live is a day to enjoy and make the most of. Make sure that you get the all the happiness and pleasure that you want but not at the expense of the happiness of others.
Accept the fact that one day you will cease to exist, you are not in control of this. Concentrate on living and let happiness be your main goal in life along with helping others to be happy. Learn to respect yourself so that you can respect others. We are all individuals and we don’t always think the same, respect that. The colour of or skin doesn’t define who we are, we are all the same inside. Our actions and deeds define who we are.
Be as benevolent as possible but absolutely never be altruistic. Benevolence means that you help others by sharing your good fortune without putting yourself at a disadvantage.
Altruism is destructive and relies on “self sacrifice” for the greater good, it is the ultimate in human control and allows others to control your life. Most (if not all) religions are based on self sacrifice and the greater good. Don’t let yourself be conned into Altruism.
Hopefully you will now have a good idea of what happens during and after puberty but will still have plenty of questions and want to increase your knowledge.
Seek and ye shall find 🙂 Question everything and never take anything at face value. Always check what you are being told aligns with several reliable sources. Never ever should you ever trust what a politician tells you, politics is all about being economical with the truth and telling people what they want to hear. Once elected most politicians will do the opposite of what they have promised.
The modern world appears to thrive on greed and corruption by minorities, you need to fight this and resist the temptation to use greed and corruption
Having read the above will probably make you more knowledgeable than most people of your age. Use it as a starting point to gaining more knowledge.
Knowledge is power! Education is the source of Knowledge.
Having a partner with similar “thinking” will help you traverse the university of life.
Be happy, be benevolent and enjoy natural pleasures to the full. Procreation is the natural way of human survival and should give you great pleasure but procreation doesn’t pay the bills 🙂 Unfortunately you need to have a work break to earn some money 🙂
Should you decide to take part in the “Survival of Humans”, making babies is a prime requirement and you need to make a minimum of 3 to make any difference to the “Net Human Count”. Making babies is one of the most basic urges to help Humans survive, make sure this is what you want, there is no going back.
Babies are for life, not just for xmas! When you make babies, you have to accept that it is your (and your partners) responsibility to make sure the new humans are fed, clothed, provided with shelter and educated until they are age 18 but in reality you will feel responsible until you stop breathing. Being a parent is a job for life!
Life is a challenge, a game of chance. Take it by the horns and ride it to the full, be bold. Learn from your mistakes and grow to be a better person. Don’t go to your grave quietly with regrets about the things you didn’t do. Fight for life be the best that you can be so that you can be remembered as a kind helpful person with a zest for life because “Life is everything, death is nothing” and you’re a long time dead!
HG